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Ive not felt well for the last couple of days..well actually since 1972...okay not really but since Thanksgiving...im sure ive not been poisoned...but just off and on not felt well....last night was bad....and this morning somewhat...was planning on hittin the gym...but just gonna hit the bed again after im done bloggin....not even gonna talk about weight or anything...Maybe its just my emotions hittin extra hard as usual around the holidays (we lost a son in 2004) as usual but they are more in body than mind this year...I dunno....

ANYWHO yall take care!

Nov 28

Was gonna blog this morning but i forgot...im old...brain farts...anyway this morning i actually stepped on the scale long enough for it to stop bouncing around and stop on my actually weight...down a couple of lbs...well i "think" i was at 300-299 all through Thanksgiving till day before yesterday...I just never let the scale actually "stop" well this morning after not eating much yesterday...I was .....drumroll pleeeeze.....294.6lbs...so yeah im okay with that and yeah its ALL water weight and I dont care and oh my "friend" decided to visit me this morning so im crampy and bi&chy and bloated a bit  so im VERY happy with that number lol....Ive been having some "phantom gallbladder" pain today off and on...well thats what i call it cause i got it taken out last year in June and I dunno what else is in that area....anyone know? Tell me please cause i dont wanna go to the doc just for her to tell me...."there isnt anything there to hurt" cause they all make me feel stupid enough as it is....Anywho...hope all is well to those who may read this...i hope at least one other person other than myself is reading this...who knows maybe this will become so popular someday that I will be on USA Today or ummm...whatever...yeah i can dream cant I? Take Care yall!

Nov 27

Hell No i did NOT go shopping on Black Friday..never had done that never will...I remember when i was little and went with my grandmother once and got lost...I was hollering "Grandma, Grandma" and 800 grey headed old ladies were all lookin at me...THAT was it for me...so Ill just wait till my usual Christmas Eve to do my shopping...well im not that bad but almost....

So its two days after Thanksgiving and YES im STILL EATING!!!! Like theres NEVER gonna be anything else to eat EVER!!!! Well not today yet cause its early...ive decided to fast today...to clean and clear...clean my body...ya know..water only (okay who am i lying to, im drinking a diet pepsi now but its close to water in a way...okay maybe not anyway........) but most deff to clear my mind......TRY to think of other things....today WONT be hard...already know that...day 1 never is...not till actual feelings of ACTUAL hunger hit...then i start to mentally think of food...till then im good...

Im not gonna hit the scale today...cause i know im still at roughly 300... I know i want to be to about 275 by New Years WHICH I know is doable if i stop FU#KING UP! AND AND AND starting hitting the gym again...its not like i was killing myself there anyway...i was doing a mile at between 2.4-3.0 mph usually no incline but sometimes up to 6% for a wee wee wee tiny bit on the treadmill then 2000 step on the recumbant crosstrainer then the weight rest machines...id end up being there roughly 70-90 mins...95% of the time i felt really good after and it really did help me...but im so freak lazy....anywho...guess im done here...

Take care to those who may be reading this...

Tue Nov 23

Alot has happened and im not really going to go into all of it here but...today the 5 year old its her last day of school till next Monday....shes been really sick with an upper resp. infection...but doing better...got some meds for her and her flu shot on the 11th....then the greatest ped doc in the world, the only doc she ever knew passed away 5 days after she and her sister saw him (she got a flu shot too)...it was a great shock...his services are today although im not going....They have a big huge thing in the paper (his Obit.) about his life and he was a very strong Christian man so that makes me happy....I may not be a Bible thumper but im happy I know where he is right now and Im sure it makes his family and friends feel better about his death too...however Wed (tomorrow) the youngest one has to see a new doc about her ADHD meds because she runs out Thurs and she CANT just stop taking them...they agreed to see us although no one will be in her old docs office at all till next monday so no way i can get any paperwork or anything so im glad they agreed to see her...but everyone knows in town about Dr. Burns passing away.

Ive been eating junk for a whole week and am just under 300 yet again...grrrrrrrrrrrrr....changing that as we speak...or as I type lol...havent been to the gym....GAWD what a waste of money....but really will get my butt back into gear about that...really did feel better after exercising...although i was the fattest person there...

Not doing much for Thanksgiving...Hubby is making a Ham...thats about it...just that...lol...no one wants anything else...hes building a new computer while hes on vacation so we will be back to having 3...computer nerds we are lol...

Happy Thanksgiving to anyone to happens to read this!!!!!!

Kiddo is Sicko

The 5 year old lil one is sick today and getting sicker so instead of drugging her up and sending her on to school like I have for the last 2 days ima take her to the Urgent Care place down the road and make sure its nothing bad....every year she used to get really sick...bronc and such till two years ago we had her tested for allergies and found out her main allergerns (yes i know i spell like crap) was to some kind of tree we dont have around here and horses which we have 4 living right behind us and some mold which is prolly everywhere around here...so shes done much better with nightly allergy meds....but this is a cold...a bad one with major coughing....she just had her flu shot on the 11th, and shes only had a low low grade says my hand temp so far...so anyway we shall see tomorrow...

Diet wise....ate bad today....feel horrible bloated. high blood sugar...extra insulin needed...will do better for the rest of the week...staying OFF the EVIL scales this week all week! TTYL

Not getting on the scale today

Yeah im not getting on the scale today cause im up cause of the weekend eating and ill only get upset so why bother...so ill tell you about my interesting weekend...well it wasnt that interesting but kinda to me anyway...

The other night took my 5 and 15 year old with me to the Dollar Gen. Yeah I do some high class shopping sometimes....well the lady there whom ive never seen and we go there ALOT says "take your things out of the basket and set it back over there blah blah..." my 15 year old having a bit of a mouth says weve never had to emply our own little basket because..guess its easier for you huh...lady says yes it is and continues to ring up our stuff...when shes done im runnin the debit card which i KNOW the the money in it...kiddo takes the bags and stands by the door the lady says come back over here till the transaction is over...I tell lady " shes not leaving the store, just chill the money is about to go through no biggie...so she says LOUDER...Maam is THAT how you let your children act? NOW up till then I was okay...but why the hell would be say something like that its not like my 5 year old was acting out in any way at all and my 15 year old was ONLY standing by the freaking door with our stuff NOT outside the door or even with the doors open!!! So I tell her thats NONE Of her business and I tell her dont dare question me how I do anything with my children. PERIOD! Transaction OVER! After I leave the store I call the number on the receipt to talk to the manager...guess who answers the phone...yeah her! So I ask for the manager..she says..I am the manager..I said, No id like to talk to the "real' manager...she says maam are you the lady who just left the store? I said it doesnt matter i want to talk to the real manager not a check out clerk and it went on from there...I was only doing my job, your child was headed out the door blah blah blah...i said i dont know WHY you are trying to sound as if you are an important person you DO work at a DOLLAR GENERAL STORE you are NOT HIGH CLASS and i will be contacting the Dist. Manager about you. And I will as soon as 9am gets here this morning... lol...it all was funny till she talk about my children...they werent doing anything so thats a no. no. know what i mean?

Then yesterday at the Chinese Rest. A worker there kept. lookin at my 15 year old like i mean lookin lookin...every time and every chance he got...he was prolly 25ish...but shes built pretty good..Thank God looks nothing like me but shes a minor and i hate when grown men stare at her so after about 20 mins of this i asked the super nice waitress , who by the way was over at our table alot playing with my lil one , talkin to her and making her laugh, she was a sweet young lady, anyway i was saying in a joking manor cause i aint stupid i know i could have went to jail if this were ment as a real threat..i said could you plesae go tell this guy over there if he keeps looking at my daughters breasts that i will come over there and stab him in the right eye with my fork...so she did, i heard the guys in the back laugh about it BUT he everytime would come back out never looked in her direction again....so it worked...go mom!!!! lol....enough for now!

day i dunno who cares and all that

I was down to 283.0 and my DH and i went out yesterday to eat...i wanted steak, he wanted freakin chinese, do i ever get my way,hell freakin no so we eat chinese...not only do i eat it and it doesnt even taste that good cause its not my usual place...my blood sugar goes up to 290...freakin horrible...its been so damn good since watching the carbs and stuff....well to today after church what happens...the GIRLS beg me to take them to chinese...what is this?!?!?!? So we go the usual place...i was gonna not eat, just order diet soda or water or something...well like THAT really happened....yeah i ate and ate so two days of eating prolly fuc*ed up three four days of being good....oh well thats always happening.....tomorro will prolly be 295lbs and start losing from scratch...i hate myself....